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03 July 2005 @ 06:32 pm
Go to sleep in hell...wake up in heaven  
[Characters: Miyavi, Nao; NC-17 SEX]

Miyavi started awake from a fitful sleep, stired awake by a scream that sounded all to close for comfort. He shook his head rubbing his eyes, looking at Nao beside him. “Wake up sleepy head...” The nurse said getting up off the bed to go down stairs in the hope of some food.

Nao sat up wearily, and after rubbing his eyes, he groggily moved downstairs with Miyavi. He grabbed a bathrobe from the door that led to the bathroom, and slipped it on. "Do they have any pancake mix?"

Miyavi was fishing around in a cupboard... “Yes they do, your in luck.” He said joylessly. And the stove was gas, double luck. Miyavi quietly started to guess how much water was needed to make the entire box of pancakes

. "I want some pancakes." Nao said sleepily. He looked to the window, and saw something pass by. "Meev, down!!" He hissed quietly, as he fell to his knees. Something peered in the window, smearing greenish blood as it moved by, seeing nothing inside.

Miyavi cautiously peered up above the counter. It was gone. He closed the blinds and then pulled out his glasses so he could read the instructions on the box. “You can have pancakes...” he mumbled as he read what to do with the lumpy batter.

Nao searched until he found a skillet. Braving the fridge, he found that the margarine and syrup at least were still edible, even if the margarine was melted already. It wasn't rancid at least. "Meev…about last night…"

“Forget it.” Miyavi cut him off and used the near by matches to light the stove.

"I…can't." Nao told him simply. "I know I hurt you…with what I said. I'm sorry." He reached for a measuring cup, and started metering out batter into a large bowl. "I'll mix, you cook."

“No I should have realised by now that you country folk are a bit more sensitive than where I’m from...” Miyavi said as he measured some oil into the pan.

Nao winced. It wasn't what Miyavi thought. Not at all. "Why do you joke like that? Do you ever…really feel that way? I mean…do you have those sorts of thoughts?" He tried to sound casual…and failed.

“What sort of thoughts?” Miyavi asked studying the box again, pushing his black plastic rimmed glasses up his nose.

Nao passed over the mixed batter. "You know what I mean. Thoughts of men…in a sexual way…like last night when you offered me a 'freebie.'" Whatever that entailed. "Is it really how you feel…or just a game, to see if you can make me think that way?"

“Are you asking if I’m a fag Nao?” Miyavi used a bit of vulgarity to deflect from the question and calmly poured some batter on to the hot oil, and it sizzled quietly.

Nao winced at the word visibly. He looked at the batter being poured. "I suppose I am."

Miyavi didn’t reply, he found a spatula by the stove and turned over the pancakes as neatly as he could.

Nao found plates, and pulled them down to stack the pancakes on. "Meev…I need an answer. It won't change how I think of you…I promise."

“Does it really matter?” Miyavi said putting the first pancake onto the plate. He usually lied at this point...but he didn’t want to lie to his best friend.

"It matters to me." Nao said quietly. One of them had to come clean. He couldn't ask this of Miyavi without being willing to tell the truth himself. "Because…I am." He uttered in absolute shame. He didn't look at Miyavi's face for a reaction. He didn't want to see it.

Miyavi turned away from the pan, shock evident on his face as he stared at Nao. “You’re...what?”

Nao set the plate on the counter. "A fag…a queer..whatever you want to call me. Whatever slur is in vouge these days."

Miyavi’s mouth moved slightly for a moment, no sound coming out of it. “Why the hell didn’t you say anything before?” The pancakes was starting to burn, and he had to look back at it quickly to stop it getting black.

Nao gave him a tilted smirk. "You said it yourself. We country folk are sensitive. Meev..you're my best friend…I didn't want to risk loosing you because I couldn't keep my mouth shut…and then…all your games…" He still assumed they were games.

“Jesus...I can’t believe this...” Miyavi said sounding a bit irritated as he dumped the pancake onto the plate and finally took the skillet off the stove. He turned back to Nao and looked at him seriously, “I had no idea Nao...”

Miyavi sounded almost angry with him. So much so that Nao took an involuntary step back. "I didn't want you to know!" He said desperately. "I never…I never did anything. I never tried to take advantage of your nature. I swear." It would have been so easy.

“For fucks sake Nao shut up for a minute, I’m fucking queer as well alright.” Miyavi said leaning onto the kitchen counter with one hand, not looking at the other man now.

Nao was looking at him. Sudden hope swelled up. "You mean..they weren't games then? They were serious?" God..if only he'd known. He'd missed so many chances…

“No they weren’t serious because I thought you were straight...” Miyavi said massaging his brow.

"Oh…I see." Nao began setting out plates, and moving pancakes onto them. He found forks and knives. "It would be ridiculous of me to assume that just because we share that in common, you'd be interested in me. But…if you ever are…" To tell the truth, Nao had never actually been with a man. He only knew how he felt about them, and he knew he certainly hadn't felt it with any of the women he'd been with. "Well, if you ever are, I've cared about you for a very long time."

Miyavi couldn’t stand it anymore. He took Nao’s hand bringing him flush against him before bending down to give him a passionate kiss, an erotic clashing of teeth and tongue. He pulled away slightly to look at Nao’s eyes. “You’re a moron, you know that Nao. The games were games because I know I can’t really ever turn someone into something they’re not. If I had known they would have been serious...”

Nao threw everything he had back into that kiss. It certainly wasn't a one-way embrace either. Odd, that dreams could be fulfilled in this nightmare world. Nao looked back up at Miyavi with his lips slightly parted, and glistening with the remainders of their kiss. "I am a moron. If I'd been less scared…" He kissed Miyavi again, insistently. They had so much lost time to make up for.

“And if I’d been less secretive with even my best friend...” But then Miyavi had lots of secrets, this was just one of them. Miyavi quickly returned the kiss pushing Nao up against the table, his hand slipping into the bath robe to feel the flesh there. Finally he broke away clutching a hold of Nao’s hand still running his thumb over the other man’s fingers. “Do you want to...” he asked biting his lips gently, tasting Nao on them still.

Underneath the robe, nao wore only the pants he'd slept in, and even those felt like too much now. He kissed Miyavi again, pulling him closer. "Everything…I want everything you're willing to share with me." He brought his lips over Miyavi's neck, and the shallow hollows of his collar. "Please…I've wanted you for so long."

Miyavi was fine to give him everything he had. He held Nao against him as he breathed heavily under Nao’s attentions. He was just about to rush Nao up for an hour of passion when he looked at the cooling pancakes... “Um...I just hate to see decent food go to waste...”

Nao groaned, and rested his head on Miyavi's shoulder. "You're right…we won't get another meal like this in silent Hill…" But it was terribly unfair. "We'll ,make it up to each other later, right?"

“...As soon as we’ve finished eating...” Miyavi said sitting down at the table and quickly dousing his pancakes with maple syrup.

Nao nodded, and did the same. He was determined to eat more quickly than he ever had, despite the rarity of the meal. It hardly seemed important, when he's just be hungry again in a matter of hours anyway.

Miyavi shoved the last bite full into his mouth and still chewing stood up tugging on Nao’s sleeve. “Come on...you can take it with you if need to...” he said through a mouthful of food.

Nao was done. He wasn't full, but maybe it was better that way. He followed Miyavi, but on a whim, he grabbed the syrup as he was hauled upstairs.

Miyavi pulled Nao into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him before pushing Nao onto the bed to resume their fevered kisses. “Nao...have you ever...” he asked when he could between their kisses.

Nao dropped the syrup on the bedside table so he could pull Miyavi on top of him. He shook his head after a moment. "No…I…was only ever interested in you." Well, that wasn't entirely true, but he'd never even thought of being with anyone else. He'd rather live with a lie than have someone else.

Nao’s admittance of such focused affection made Miyavi kiss him deeper as he ground his hips into the other man’s. “I want you....” Miyavi said desperately, no doubt the direty of their situation getting to him. This could be a last time for...anything.

A sentiment which Nao shared entirely. On all counts. "I want you too…I have..years.." He managed to get out between kisses. As soon as they left this house - probably before, they'd be in danger, and either of them could be stuck in silent hill as nothing more than another rotting corpse.

“I’m sorry...for wasted time...” Miyavi apologised as he untied the front of Nao’s robe to let his hands once again roam Nao’s chest. His head went down to suck and kiss at one of Nao’s nipples, letting his teeth run over it gently to tease it hard.

"D-don't be." Nao managed, as his back arched under Miyavi's taunting kisses. This was everything he'd ever wanted. He didn't know how it could be true. He only knew he didn't deserve it…no more than he'd deserved it in his dreams. His fingers wove through Miyavi's hair, desperate to see how he'd manipulate him, and torment him into the most erotic sensation he'd ever experienced.

As Miyavi teased Nao’s nipples, his fingers worked under the waist band of his underwear and pulled them down off his hips to allow the other man’s cock to spring up. Miyavi went down to knee between Nao’s legs, licking his lips slightly before taking the cock into his mouth.

Nao's body jerked a bit beneath him. Nao has imagined this, of course….but it bore no comparison whatsoever to the reality of it. He moaned as Miyavi's hot tongue swirled over the head of his cock, and then down the shaft. "god..Miya…it feels so good…"

Miyavi could only gaze up at Nao lustfully before closing his eyes to concentrate on the task at hand. He took in as much of Nao’s cock as he could manage, humming gently before drawing away to blow on the glossy head. He crawled up onto the bed to kiss Nao. “I’m going to make you feel so much better baby...”

"Please." Nao pleaded with him, as he took Miyavi's lips again. His hands moved between them to pull open his jeans with frantic haste, and he slid his hand into them to take Miyavi's cock in hand. That much, he knew how to do. He began to stroke it energetically.

Miyavi groaned softly as Nao teased him into rock hardness. He slipped off his green scrubs top splattered with blood and dumped it on the floor before shimming out of his jeans, leaving him in only his tight long sleeved tshirt. He got Nao more squarely on the bed before covering the other man’s body with his own, letting their erect cocks rub against each other as he took Nao’s face between his hands for more heated kisses.

Nao hadn't known that such incredibly hot friction could exist. He let out a soft groan as he writhed against Miyavi. His hands moved down to fill themselves with the globes of Miyavi's ass as he squeezed and kneaded the flesh there.

Miyavi liked it when Nao touched him. He licked Nao’s cheek as he rolled onto his side slightly letting his hand drift between them. He fondled Nao some more before asking him once again, “You sure about this?”

Nao closed is eyes to soak in the pleasure Miyavi was giving him. "Very sure…I've never wanted anything more in my life." He'd heard that it hurt…sometimes a lot, sometimes not at all, but he didn't care. Pain was temporary. The memory of being with the person he'd dreamed of would last forever. If he had forever…

Miyavi scanned the bedroom for anything he could use...and spotted some massage oil. He warmed a liberal amount in his hands, slicking his fingers reaching down between Nao’s legs to probe at his entrance. “Just tell me if it hurts alright...” he said before giving Nao a kiss.

Nao let his lips hover on Miyavi's. It was tight, and he imagined it would hurt a bit when…well, he wasn't so worried about it…this was Miyavi. He'd never intentionally hurt him. Nao nodded. "I'll tell you."

Miyavi tried to kiss Nao more to relax him. “Just relax yeah...” The nurse told the other man as he ran his fingers over Nao’s cheek.

Nao eased a bit under Nao's knowing hands. How many times had Miyavi touched him? It had to be millions, but never like this. Nao exhaled slowly as he leaned back on the mattress, and worked on easing his excited nerves.

“That’s it...” Miyavi said smiling at Nao, feeling him relax. He got more of the oil on his fingers and started coating his cock in it. He inserted a digit, and another making sure Nao was open enough before replacing his fingers with his cock and started to gently push himself into that tight heat.

Nao's breath was already ragged, but as Miyavi penetrated him, it stopped altogether for just a moment. He winced. It did hurt quite a bit, but with as much as he trusted Miyavi, and as comfortable as he was with him, the pain eased soon. "Go ahead." He urged him breathlessly.

“Sorry Nao...” Miyavi said softly as he tried to let Nao adjust. “Feeling better?” He asked rubbing his thumb over the other man’s full lips.

Nao kissed Miyavi's thumb between ragged breaths. "Yes…please keep going…" He wanted proof that all of this torment and anguish over his sexuality was worth it.

Miyavi started to move his hips into that tight heat, slowly building his pace so not to hurt Nao further. “You feel so good...” he said as he remembered to breath again.

Nao moaned in time to Miyavi's exquisite thrusting. He found that if he positioned himself just so…that Miyavi's cock hit something deep inside of him. Something that entirely numbed the rest of his body with the concentrated pleasure. "Aaahh..Miyavi…more..please…" He said, with his eyes only open the slimmest of slits.

“Feels good doesn’t it...” Miyavi said as he quickened his pace, thrusting harder to try and hit that spot deep inside him he knew would have him writhing in ecstasy.

"Yes…yes." His eyes were closed tightly now, and sweat beaded on his skin despite the house which lacked heating. He gripped Miyavi's upper arms hard. This would be addictive, he knew.

Miyavi tried to push himself in deeper, he didn’t know how long he was going to last with that constricting heat around him. He pushed himself up a bit reaching down to take Nao’s cock into his hand and start pumping it in time with his trusts.

Nao couldn't last long under that at all. It only took a few strokes for Miyavi to bring him off, with the added friction of his hand. He sighed heavily as he came, and slunk back against the pillows. "god, Miyavi…."

Miyavi felt Nao clench tighter around him and with a few more thrusts he came, holding himself inside until he was spent. Letting go a deep breath he collapsed to the side of Nao finding his hand with one of his. “Worth coming to bat for the other team?” he asked.

Nao gripped his hand tightly. "Yes…" He said, starting to shiver in the chilled air. It brought up goosebumps on his skin. "Nothing has ever been more worth it." He turned to Miyavi, searching his eyes for….anything, really. "It was all I hoped it would be." Even here, in Hell.

Miyavi pulled the bathrobe from under Nao and covered him with it before pulling him close to stroke his hair. “Late is better than never...I just, never thought you’d be anything but a good friend...”

Nao closed his eyes under Miyavi's touch. "I thought the same…I tried so hard not to tell you. I thought you'd just assume that I only wanted to be near you because of my own perverted fantasies." He opened his eyes. "It's more than that…it always has been."

“Don’t worry about it now...we were good friends still weren’t we?.” The nurse said wishing they could just stay holed away together...but he needed to get to the hospital.

Nao pressed his cheek to Miyavi's shoulder. "The games won't stop now, will they? I would have really liked them if they weren't such hell."

Miyavi winced, “I’m sorry...I didn’t know what I was doing to you...” he said a bit guiltily. It was just...his nature.

Nao chuckled softly. "It's a relief to me that you didn't. If even my best friend didn't know..then it may mean that no one in silent Hill suspects…and I hope that's the case. If people found out…"

“No...I doubt anyone does. Do you think anyone suspects me? Heard any um rumours?” Miyavi asked hopefully...he always tried to be...discrete...not that it worked always.

Nao shook his head. "No, never. Never a word." Though Nao never really listened to gossip, lest he hear some about himself. "Meev…do you think the shower works here?"

“Water’s still running...might be a bit cold if the heater’s not working though...” Miyavi said sitting up to look down at Nao.

Nao nodded. His chest was still sticky from semen, and he thought a shower might do him good anyway. And…as much as he wanted to take one with Miyavi, he sighed. "Will you watch while I shower? I don't want anything busting in and catching us unawares. I'll do the same for you."

“Sure thing baby...” Miyavi said using a nickname he overused to death with all his more social partners. Before letting Nao go he leaned down to lap at Nao’s lips a last time.