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03 July 2005 @ 07:16 pm
First Aid  
[Characters: Miyavi, Nao]

Miyavi had been following Izumi through the town trying to find Nao. The fog was thick like pea soup...he mustn’t have been paying attention, cos he could have sworn Izumi went around a corner but...had just disappeared. Miyavi felt a bit panicked but...what else could he do...he kept walking on. He was coming up to the old library, he could see the building looming up in the fog.

There was a bank near the library. Nao would have loved to put himself far away from Aya, but..his body simply couldn't handle it. He'd managed to break the door of the bank on get inside. He was curled in fetal position, shivering hard. He couldn't seem to stay warm, and he simply had no energy left. He was going to die like this...he knew it. Bleeding on the unforgiving cold tile floor.

Miyavi came to the steps of the library and noticed some blood stains. That wasn’t unusual in Silent Hill now...but a few bloody $100 notes caught his attention...Nao? The blood lead away, in a dripping trail...Miyavi quickly followed it, hoping this wasn’t Nao...what if he was hurt and he was too late? Miyavi came to some broken doors of the bank and stepped inside cautiously. A quick scan didn’t reveal anything and he was about to leave when he noticed something...a body, nearly obscured by a couch used by people waiting to see the manager. “Nao!” Miyavi cried rushing over to the body.

Nao only barely registered a voice. It didn't even strike him as Miyavi's until he was closer. He half tried to hide behind the couch, thinking it was Aya, come to finish the job he'd started..but then he heard the familiarness in the voice. Of all the people he never wanted to see him like this...he was bleeding from a cut in his neck, and a nasty cut on both legs, that made walking almost impossible. He was in bad, bad shape. He got his eyes open at last. "Miyavi?"

Miyavi dropped to the floor taking Nao’s hand, in shock to see him like this. “My god what happened Nao??”
"Aya..." Nao gripped Miyavi's hand tightly and closed his eyes. "Oh God...I think I killed him..." He deserved to die. Aya was crazy, but he was still a human being...

“Aya?” Miyavi said quietly...yes Izumi had said he was crazy...if only he had found him sooner. “Don’t worry about it now...I’m going to check you out Nao...” Miyavi said trying to sound calm like he did with his patients, but this was different...he couldn’t keep his hands from shaking. Nao’s neck was lacerated, as was one of his legs...but his left leg had a deep stab wound, and when Miyavi pulled away the cloth covering it bright red blood oozed out of it steadily. He put his hand on it to put pressure on it. Nao was clammy, pale and cold to the touch...he was going into shock. He had to stop the bleeding. “It’s ok Nao...I’m going to sort you out...” he tried to reassure him.

"No. You were right." Nao murmured quietly. He couldn't even feel Miyavi's hands on him. It didn't hurt so much anymore. "We're all being executed for our crimes. I never told you what I did, did I? I've been taking money....thousands and thousands of dollars. Made it look like someone else..." how many people had he gotten fired, with his despicable acts? How many were badly off because of what he'd done?

Miyavi was getting the medical kit he had taken from the hospital out when Nao told his confession. He stopped momentarily...so that’s how Nao had been giving him money. “I don’t care. I’m going to fix you up.” He eventually said snapping on some surgical gloves. Seconds were precious now. He took off some gauze he had put on the wound and it still bleed profusely. “Nao...you’ve nicked an artery...I’m going to need to tie it off...” Miyavi had never done it before...but he’d seen it done, and this was Nao’s only chance...

Nao didn't know what Miyavi was saying. The words were meeting his ears, but he was losing the ability to comprehend them as he lay on the tile. "You can't put me back together...Aya wants me dead. I deserve to die. Two people now I've cast off. I never should have left him. Miyavi might be dead now. It's all my fault."

Miyavi pressed his knee to the wound and took Nao’s face with his hands, staring into his eyes. “Nao, listen to me...it’s Miyavi, can you hear me? I’m not dead I’m here, and I’m going to sort you out...” But the pain...the only analgesic he had was Tylenol.

Nao blinked sleepily at him. He wasn't as cold anymore either. Maybe he was better after allchMiyavi? No, he's dead. I left him therec.I left himch tears slid down his cheeks. gI didn't help himc.no one will help me.h

Miyavi bit his lip trying to compose himself. “Nao...this is going to hurt. I don’t want to hurt you so...I want to give you some White Claudia...”

Nao's hand fell imply at his side. gMiyavi loves Claudiacmore than he loved me. I'm going to diecwhat difference does it make?h

“No...he loved you more than anything...” Miyavi said getting out a syringe and filling it with a carefully measured dose of the White Claudia he had left...not enough and Nao would be in terrible pain, too much and he’d stop breathing... The nurse pulled up Nao’s sleeve and quickly found a vein to pump the white Claudia into...he should feel more comfortable now.

As soon as the drug hit his system, Nao eased up. His eyes opened again, and he smiled up at Miyavi. gI can see him now. Thank you for letting me see him again.h

“Because it is me you dolt...” The nurse said recapping the syringe and laying it down. He got some clamps out of the medical kit and gingerly took the blood soaked gauze off the wound. He worked quickly to pull the stab would apart clearing away the blood with the gauze to see where it was coming from. He saw it, and clamped the artery and got some sutures and tied it off. He sat back relieved, that was the worse of it over...if Nao didn’t go into shock still. “I’m going to get some water to clean this up Nao...” he said before going to fetch the big plastic bottle from the water cooler.

The man couldn't be Miyavi. Miyavi was dead. He only looked like him because of the drug. It didn't hurt, at least. He wasn't going to die in pain. gWill you tell him that I'm sorry, if you see him?h

“You don’t need to apologise to him.” Miyavi said as he poured the wound to clear any foreign debris. He taped it closed and put fresh gauze around it, before he started work on cleaning the other lacerations and suturing them.

Nao sighed. gYes, I suppose it's too late, isn't it?h He dimly felt the cloth wind around his neck, and he half thought it would strangle him. Like the vines wrapped around him when he went under the freezing water of the lake. He should have died there, Before he found Miyavi. Before he told him how he felt about him. Before he found out the truth.

Miyavi finished up and stripped off the gloves. “It’s never too late...I hope...” Miyavi said getting a pillow down from the couch and putting it under Nao’s head to make him comfortable. He took the blanked off the back of the couch covering Nao up. He soothed away the hair from his face. “You’re going to be ok Nao...”

Nao wasn't so sure. He felt like he was already a ghost. He felt his spirit detatching from his body. He could fly away if he wantedcbut he didn't. He wanted to be near this person cruelly wearing Miyavi's face and using his voice. He slid his hand into Miyavi's. gAyache could be dead too. I hit himcI should go see if he's..if it's too late.h He half tried to sit up, forgetting entirely about his legs.

“Hey hey you’re not going anywhere for a while!” Miyavi said pushing Nao down and pulling the blanket back up over him again. “Aya...around the library right?” that’s where the blood had started... “He wasn’t there...you probability just knocked him out...”

For some reason, that didn't make Nao feel that much better. gBe careful. He's mad. He could kill you.h Nao was only slightly relieved that he hadn't murdered someone. Even someone who needed to die. He settled back down, and pulled Miyavi closer. gYou smell like him. Do you know what happened to him?h

Miyavi wrapped his arms around Nao, trying to keep him warm. “He’s fine...but he misses you...” he said quietly, trying to stop the tears building in his eyes.

Nao buried his face into Miyavi's chest. He didn't try to stop the tears. He sobbed against him. gIt's all my fault. I never should have left him there. I want him here now.h He was only lucky that Miyavi didn't hate him now. He hated himself enough for the both of them, though.

What could he do to convince Nao it was him! Miyavi held Nao to his chest, afraid to let go of him again. “It’s ok...he forgives you...no I forgive you...” He said pulling Nao away far enough so he could see his eyes. He leaned in gently pressing his lips to Nao’s before whispering. “I’m here with you Nao...”

Ralization finally struck him as he felt familiar lips against him. His hands tightened around the flds of cloth of Miyavi's scrubs. He did smell like Miyavi. Like a mix of cigarettes, and hospitals, and cologne, and justcMiyavi. Nao blinked to clear his head, but it was so fuzzy. He felt like he was underwater. It was the tears in his eyes, he realized, and he blinked them out to let them fall down his cheeks. gIt is youcyou came for me after allch He gave him a little smile. gYou're aliveh His arms closed around him again as he pressed his head hard against Miyavi's chest.

“Yes...I was worried about you....Izumi found me and told me about Aya...” The nurse said holding Nao as close as he could. “I didn’t think you’d want to see me though...”

Nao shook his head. gI wanted to. I was stupid to leave you there.h He thought of his arm. There was a slight twinge there now. He looked at the darkening bruise on it. gWe're the same now, aren't we? I'm going to be just like youch

Miyavi shook his head. “No...I won’t allow it...you’re never going to become like me...” he said closing his eyes, unable to look at Nao. He just couldn’t have watched Nao go through all that pain...

Nao distantly stroked his hand. His skin felt so much more sensitive. Like he could feel the individual cells of miyavi's skin. gIsn't there anything you can do to stop it in yourself?h Nao held him tighter. gI'll stopcwhat I've been doing.h

Miyavi sighed, leaning forward to gently press his lips to Nao’s cheek, knowing what these touches would be like for Nao. “It’s not that simple...” he said quietly. He wish they didn’t have to talk about it....

Nao shuddered. It was like the touch of the hand of God. gI knowc.but if I help youcplease..won't you try?h

Miyavi kissed Nao’s ear, breathing on it gently. “Do you think you could give up years of...this?” He asked before giving a much wetter kiss behind Nao’s ear, letting his tongue to flick out and taste the skin there.

Nao trembled in Miyavi's hands. It wascutterly indescribable. He'd never felt anything like it. He wanted more. He wanted Miyavi to kiss him again. To speak to him again. Anything. He wanted every jolt of sensation that just existing provided. The Claudiacmade him notice everything he'd missed before, or taken for granted. gIcdon't know.h Touching Miyavi after this would only be a shadow of what he felt now, and he knew it. But..at what cost? What would it do to him? gI would do it for youch

“You’re a stronger person than me...but I’ll try...because I love you...” He would try...eventually... Miyavi pulled Nao to his chest as he wrapped his arms around him, stroking his back with his hands as he kissed and nuzzled Nao’s neck.

Nao's mind was reeling from Miyavi's touches, and he began to run his hands over his body wherever he could reach. gThank youcI love you, Miyavi. I docI'm sorry I gave up on you. I'll never do it again.h

“Please don’t...I might not succeed first time...” Miyavi said giving Nao a deep kiss, tasting inside his mouth before pulling back. “I...we can’t do this now...you lost a lot of blood.” Nao wasn’t as cold as he was...but was still looking rather pale.

Nao was lost in the strong sensation, and so disappointed when Miyavi stopped. gYou'll succeed. I know you will. You won't disappoint me.h Nao said with confidance. gwhy do we have to stopcit doesn't hurt.h

How many times was he going to disappoint Nao... Miyavi sighed and stroked Nao’s face. “You can’t feel it right now...but it could hurt you more if you do too much...”

Nao closed his eyes to soak in the feeling of Miyavi's hands on him. gAya hurt me badly, didn't he?h

“Yeah, he did...I was scared of loosing you...” Still was really... Miyavi kissed him again, so desperate not to be parted from Nao again. But god he just wanted to take a big hit of Claudia and fuck Nao like that...but what had he just promised him?

Nao reached up to touch his cheek, trailing his fingers across his lips. gyou won't lose me. I'm yours nowcforever. I never want to be with anyone else. You saved my lifech

“Thank you...I don’t deserve you...” Miyavi said taking Nao’s hands into his own. He was already planning to take a small dose of Claudia once Nao was asleep...he was already going to disappoint him. Hot tears fell over his cheeks to drip onto their hands.

Nao reached up to slide his fingers over the hot slick tracks. They didn't feel like tears. It was all so surreal. gwhy are you crying? Everything is going to be okay now.h

“Yeah...everything is going to be ok.” Miyavi said trying to smile, but the tears were still falling. He couldn’t bare to tell the awful truth to Nao, or that they were probably going to die in this town.

gDon't be upsetcPlease. I'll find a way to get us out of here. I promise I'll find a way.h The loss of blood was getting to him now, and even the adrenaline rush of the Claudia wasn't going to keep him awake much longer. His eyelids drooped. They'd have to get him something soon to help him resupply himself with blood. Maybe one of the candy bars in his bag. Nao's eyes closed all the way. gI'm tiredcdon't leave mech

Miyavi would have preferred to get an IV into Nao...but they were far from the hospital or medical center. “No, I won’t leave you...” Miyavi said rubbing Nao’s back trying to comfort him. “It’s ok...I’ll...get you something to eat then you can rest up...”

Nao gave Miyavi a slight grin. gThanks.h He was starting to come down off the drug. The amazing highs were being slowly replace by a sinking feeling of dread. He wanted to sleep this off. gI won't slow you down when it's time to move again.h He wasn't sure how, but he'd try.

“Don’t worry...” Miyavi said reaching for Nao’s bag and finding some of the candy bars in there and unwrapped it for the other man. “I’m not gonna leave you...”

Nao got about halfway through the candy bar before he was just too tired to eat anymore of it. His stomach hurt anyway. He put it into Miyavi's hand. gHere, you have the rest. I'm going to sleepch He closed his eyes and leaned back against the pillow.

Miyavi sighed and finished off the bar, watching Nao as he fell asleep. When he was certain Nao wouldn’t wake up, he reached into his pocket for his syringe, and filled it with a small dose of Claudia. He sighed as he injected it into his bruised arm, and put everything away before he settled down next to Nao, cuddling him close to quietly ride out the smooth euphoria of the drug with Nao in his arms.